


A beginning at an end.

by ImzadiX (Slayer)



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M, Post Insurrection, Renewed Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-26 17:42:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/652795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slayer/pseuds/ImzadiX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of moments after renewing a relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> Begins about 10 minutes after insurrection. 
> 
> Crap title - please excuse. - Updated summary cause I suck at them.

Deanna Troi braced her hands on the shower wall and let the heat flow over her shoulders, soaking into the muscles there. Her right shoulder was stiff and sore from the heft of the phaser rifle, her calves were aching with the past day’s exertions and there seemed to be half a cave-in still caught in her hair. Not that Will had seemed to mind. She sighed as she inspected the damage to her feet, with a bit of luck the ship’s salon would still be in operation tomorrow and Troi could treat herself to a pedicure and maybe a proper massage to work the last of the kinks out. 

It wasn’t as though it was the first time Deanna had been hiking, actually she’d done a fair bit of it although it had been a while. Will had taken her camping a few times too and it wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy it; she actually loved getting away from the crowded conditions of a starship and being surrounded by nature from time to time but nothing compared to the feeling of a hot water shower when you got home and if anything she was entitled to luxuriate in that sensation after this particular hike. 

Nearly eighteen straight hours surrounded by tension, anger, fear; under fire or constant threat. So while Commander Riker was off briefing the Captain on the damage to the ship, there was a strict schedule to be observed; a long hot shower, something delicious to get rid of the taste of pack rations and then a long date with her bed. There had been very little off duty time in the last 48 hours and hadn’t been much sleeping when there was. Despite the temptation to wait up it would be far better if that date occurred solo. 

Deanna let her forehead rest against the smooth, cool, shower wall and smiled to herself. Things had been so rushed after the Admiral’s interruption. Will had raced out with his jacket undone and a last kiss; she was certain he couldn’t have made the transporter room before the Captain had returned. Then just as soon as they were alone again Data had called to alert them to transporter readings in the Captain’s Yacht. Will had kissed her goodbye. Right there in the corridor outside the Yacht; he’d grabbed her hand and held her back till the others had passed and pressed his lips to hers; fast and fierce and filled with a plea to keep safe. They’d waited so long and yet it already felt like there would never be time. 

Deanna’s eyes jerked open as her reverie was rudely interrupted by the voice of the computer warning that non-essential systems were being taken off-line. Deanna signed as the water shut off and the shower returned to standard sonic mode. So much for a hot chocolate before bed. Although the replicators would be working they would be restricted to sources of appropriate nutritional value only, and such a nutritional luxury would be right out. 

Wrapped in a robe and still toweling her hair Deanna stopped short upon entering her bedroom. There on the bedside table, was a decadent looking hot chocolate, with whipped cream and shaved chocolate sprinkled across the top. Deanna crossed the room and activated the com link as she collected the drink, “Troi to Commander Riker.” “Riker here.”  
“Will, have you been in my quarters?” Riker’s slow smile washed over her like a wave of light and the back ground noise of engineering dropped away as he sought a quieter corner.  
“I wanted to make sure you got a nightcap before we diverted power.” There’s a warm pause as she sips her chocolate and basks in the warmth of his affection, fatigue carrying it; like slipping into a warm bath. “I’d have said hi but. . . I didn’t want to get distracted. We’re going to have a long night down here, the Captain wants us to make star base in 48 hours for a warp core replacement. I’ll see you tomorrow?”  
“It’s a date. Will, Thank you.”  
Riker signs off with a soft good night, and Deanna tucks her feet under the sheets; falling asleep to the back ground hum of hundreds of minds.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Work, Not-Stalking, Lunch, A bit of a lecture.

Deanna’s first query to the computer when she wakes is Will’s whereabouts. His quarters - but he’s only been there two hours - and she isn’t about to disturb him when he’s had so little sleep, as tempting as it is to think of him there, just through the wall. It’s been years but Deanna remembers well how he collapses after a long shift. He’d be facedown across the bed, his boots off, his pillow hugged beneath his chest. The uniforms had been different way back then but she can imagine the way he’d toss his jacket across the chair on the way to the bedroom, the way his arms would be bared by the under-shirt. . . and that if she doesn’t stop thinking this way she’ll miss her first appointment. 

Predictably Deanna is swamped. Starfleet still hasn’t seen fit to assign more than one counsellor to a ship although she’s been pushing it for years. The E may have a smaller crew compliment than it’s predecessor but the persistent wars the Federation has found itself involved in during recant years mean that her workload has not decreased. If anything the cases she sees are more complex, and any combat action the Enterprise sees lead a string of patients to her door. Combined with the aftermath of the Briar Patch Deanna suspects she’ll be lucky to log any bridge duty inside of a week. Of course it would be a lot easier if she wasn’t so distracted. It’s ridiculous really to be so intoxicated waiting for a boy to call, and one she’s known so long. The trouble is that the longer the day drags on, and the further they get from the Ba’ku planet; the more her anticipation turns to anxiety. It’s not that she doubts her love for Will, or that she doubts his love for her. But the fears that have always kept them in a frustrated orbit, the ones the Ba’ku radiation threw out the window, are starting to make themselves felt. 

The rising anxiety is making Deanna edgy. It’s not a good look, as unprofessional as the satisfied smirk she’s been in danger of all morning and she hates that she feels this way. She’s desperate to see Will, just to look into his eyes and talk with him and assure herself it wasn’t all a monumental mistake. That she hasn’t just messed up the most important relationship in her life. It’s as good a rationalization as any for checking his location after each session, if she can just catch him on a break . . . But he’s clearly run off his feet - back on duty far to early and constantly on the move. Engineering, the Captain’s ready room, back in engineering. After a major incident he won’t be on a regular shift - he’ll just keep going until he collapses, and then straight back into it. It’s how he works, how he’s always worked. During her sessions Deanna is all but un-contactable so it’s up to her to catch him, but she doesn’t want to be overheard, even if it’s not like they haven’t been living in each other’s pockets for years. After her fourth appointment (Lieutenant Calloway, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; nightmares, dissociative experiences, panic attacks) there is a message waiting on her terminal. From the sound of the audio it’s been sent from a Turbolift, “Hi, I’ve got about 10 minutes to grab some coffee in Ten Forward, I was hoping you could join me. I guess I’ll see you later on.” Deanna quickly checks the time on the message only to realise she’s missed him by half an hour. Luckily Deanna’s dispirited sigh is lost in the door chime. Beverly is here on the hunt for a companion at lunch - and no doubt a good gossip. “Rescue at last!” 

Once they reach Ten Forward Beverly cuts straight to the chase, “So did Will stay the night ?” Deanna sighs - Bev has been digging since they left her office and has never been subtle. “No, I believe he spent most of the night in engineering.”  “and tonight he’ll be . . .”   
“I really don’t know Beverly, I haven’t spoken to him all day. We’ve both been busy.” Deanna is alarmed at how defensive she sounds, and immediately apologizes. “I’m sorry, we really haven’t spoken. He left me a message but I was in session and. . .” Her voice trails off.   
“You aren’t having second thoughts are you?”  
“I don’t know, Maybe?”  
“Deanna Troi you stop it at once.” Deanna’s eyebrows raise as she mutters “Yes, Mother.” under her breath and spears her lunch defiantly.  
“I mean it Deanna. What would be so wrong with you two getting back together? You certainly jumped at the chance with Thomas quick enough.”  
“Beverly that was different - Thomas and I didn’t have the history that Will and I do.”  
“Actually you had exactly the history - just not as much of it.”  
“Exactly - It was like . . . going back in time.”   
Beverly snorts skeptically, in a highly un-ladylike manner. “So Will shaving for the first time in a decade was like what, exactly?”  
“Alright fine. I said I didn’t like the beard. . . if you must know. . . the last time I kissed a Riker . . . properly . . . it was Thomas . . I didn’t want to be reminded. And alright, yes, maybe I wanted to go back in time and just . . . be who we were, but we can’t go back on our lives Beverly and even if we could - look how it turned out . . . with both Will and Thomas - how can that possibly be a good idea?” Deanna’s meal is long since forgotten and Beverly lay’s down her fork as well.   
“In case you haven’t noticed Will is *not* Thomas.”  “-A fact I have been made well aware of subsequently-”  
“And furthermore, you and Will have spent the last ten years, as long as I’ve known you Deanna, holding yourselves back from getting too close, getting too involved with anyone else. The one time, Deanna, the one time you did let yourself get seriously involved it still didn’t work out because even your fiancé thought you should be with Will.” 

There’s a long pause while Deanna ponders her words and Beverly sips her drink, “Deanna, if you haven’t been waiting for this chance, then the two of you really need to figure out what you are waiting for and get out there and find it.”


	3. House Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit, A date and A conversation

Deanna isn’t back in her office for more than a minute when the door chimes. This time is the call she’s been waiting for. 

“Got a minute?” The words are the same as the last time he showed up at her office door; however Will looks apprehensive and he’s blocking her pretty soundly, her heart sinks through the deck plate as he pauses in the door.

“Of course” Deanna moves to the sofa, hoping he’ll join her, but he remains steadfast - blocking her door. 

“I know you’ve got an appointment shortly, I just wanted to ask you to dinner; nothing fancy just something from the replicator but . . . . we’ll be clear of the Briar Patch by then and I thought . . . .” 

It occurs to Deanna that she should be hurt by the insinuation that would be so easily swayed; but really she can’t blame him. Since they’ve been reunited on the Enterprise she’s been the one to push him away, to plead the difficulty of serving together while involved. Will had both professed and proven his love over and over during the years he’d made it clear he’d always be there for her in whatever capacity she saw fit. Finally risking his career to come after her when she’d gone home to announce her engagement to Worf. When she’d come to him at her Mother’s house after that little misadventure he’d back peddled to give her time; but at the same time he’d made his position clear, left the next move up to her. A move she’d been unwilling to make until now. 

Now he’s here in her office doorway, with that hesitant, slightly lost look on his face and hiding his feelings from her. She can’t even remember the last time she’d been in the same room with him without sharing his presence. “I’ll be there. 19:00?” Finally he smiles and she feels a sense of suppressed relief leak through his carefully control. He glances behind and nods to her, clearing the door for her next appointment to enter. A moment later she can sense him again - the focus he always brings to his work, and hope - like a spring in his step. 

Deanna spends the rest of the day, between appointments obviously, pondering Beverly’s words. Trying to recapture the carefree attitude she had only two days before. She simply can’t do it. Despite the fact that she loves Will, has always loved him; she can’t put the fear out of her mind. So in the end she frames the question differently; if she was was her own patient what would her advice be? After that the answer seems obvious.

When Deanna arrives at Will’s quarters the door open at her approach. This is not new - it’s been years since they’ve announced their arrival, she halts at the threshold. Will looks up from his seat on the couch and grins to see her there. Deanna is immediately awash in his emotions, and there it is, that carefree exhilaration she’s been trying to recapture all day. It has always blown her away that this man can make her feel so loved, so cherished, that at their lowest he never doubted her, even as he doubted himself. 

“You came.”

“Of course.” She crosses the room to stand before him taking the proffered hand that draws her forward to span his lap. Like this, inches apart, he is her whole universe, all she can see are his clear blue eyes, their warmth, their humor; herself reflected as he sees her, the best of herself. “This is scary”

“I know”

“If we do this, there’s no going back; no third chances.”

“I know.” Will’s nervous excitement is catching and their smiles conspire. “Could be a life sentence.”

“I know.”

“Deanna, I love you; I’ve always loved you. I know I haven’t always given you a reason to have confidence in me; but I never stopped thinking of you, I was always going to come back for you.” Will’s eyes search Deanna’s. He is completely open and she can almost touch his sincerity, it looms on his skyline strong and majestic like the mountains of his home. “I don’t know what our future holds. But I can promise that whatever happens, we will face it together, choose together. I’m not letting anything get in the way.”

“I know.” And she does; she knows in her heart and in her mind and in her soul. The boy she fell in love with decades ago now, has grown and matured into the man before her and she loves them both wholeheartedly. 

“You know?”

“I know.” Deanna closes the gap between them as his arms come around her; no going back. No third chances. Quite possibly the rest of their lives.


End file.
